The Parents who “Don’t Teach Sharing”
My bananas gentle parenting story changed how I’m raising Ada
Friends,
I try to stay off social media, but Facebook mom groups are my guilty pleasure!!! Particularly gentle parenting ones. One day, I came across a quandary that absolutely blew my mind and became the lede for this story:
In 2024, many parents simply “don’t teach sharing.” One Reddit mom told me: “I don't think sharing is a skill that kids need.”
Did this story start out with mean-spirited eye-rolls? Yes. Did I learn a lot? Yep!
Perhaps most shockingly, I learned there is merit in this approach — and that most people teach sharing in a totally ineffective way.
And then, of course, it gets more complicated. I didn’t expect this to touch on so many themes I write about all the time - class, inequality, what we owe to each other - but it does and I am SO thrilled with how it turned out.
It has already changed how Byron and I are parenting, and I hope it raises some eyebrows and sparks some good conversations!
Xoxo
Emi
Bonus: Last year’s holiday essay about my mom’s over-sharing (I think she had it right!)
Holy moly! This was an insane read. I sincerely hope that we all feel morally compelled -- regardless of our religious affiliation -- to share resources with our community, starting with teaching our kids how to share, since it's clear from your research that sharing is a taught behavior. Thanks for reminding us all that there are a limited number of swings and everyone can have a chance to play... if someone doesn't hog it all for selfish purposes. Happy everything. Emi and family!
Equating sole ownership with healthy self-regard is just another form of the oft-invoked American dream.